If Johnny Depp got a 2005 Oscar nod in ruffles...

... then I can CERTAINLY write a blog about fashion without taking as much crap as I seem to be taking from my 'serious-minded' friends and colleagues. I mean, the man -- whom since the early days of "21 Jump Street" I have personally considered to be THE incarnation of dark, brooding seriousness and uber-cool, exuding concern for the planet and disdain for idiocy (aside from the aforementioned Jump Street -- hey, everyone gets in first any way they can) spent his last film running around in flounces! Johnny, who often looks like he's been dragged through a sewer backwards and is still so coolly unconcerned with our opinion, was certainly not afraid of a few ruffles and dark eyeliner standing in the way of a potentially crowning cinematic achievement. He was so right.

On the other hand...

EverydayDiva's 80's hero heartthrob...oh the shame.

Adam Ant, for example, was so... and I mean SO... wrong! No matter how right my wanna be a punk-rocker 16-year-old self thought he was to "Stand and Deliver" in 1982. Really. Egads.

So, the theme today: the New Victorian look.

Here's my final word -- and trust me on this -- unless you're playing a pirate in a movie, no one looks good in an abundance of neck ruffles. And FYI, those really HUGE historical neck ruffles are Elizabethan, not like the small-lace-collar Victorians. (Click each to see the difference in these definite divas.) People of the modern fashion age, I ask you -- did we not learn from Seinfeld's Puffy Shirt? It was funny because... well, because it was FUNNY. And, OMG, it's now in the Smithsonian. For being HUMOROUS. Not exactly like getting into the institution's Inaugural Gown Gallery.

Now, a nice velvet equestrian coat; a pair of black lace-up granny boots -- coolio. Everyone looks luxe in buttoned-up velvet and curvy ankle-highs. A few swanky touches will up anybody's ante. To get this look cheap, check out the Newport News Catalog. It's a great Diva 'secret.' Used to be kind of schlocky -- now they have 'the look for less.' Not exactly rip-offs, but definitely runway looks without runaway prices, and quality of construction is decent to great. It's on the EveryDay Shopping Smart Link List for a reason.

OK, so please ... NO ruffles. (Ok, maybe on the cuffs. Or a FEW down the front. But that's it.) Ruffles, as the saying goes, have ridges. Ridges in my forehead from wrinkling up my nose.

The more important lesson from Johnny and his piratical finery: There is a place, even a NEED, for frivolity in the world. Even if the look isn't for everyone, there is SOMEONE out there doing it and having FUN. So we really should all take note.

Ruffle. Rinse. Repeat. Do try this at home. For FUN, though, not fashion.

You must know that after I described my blog idea and received the aforementioned "frivolous" feedback, I should just have said "you clearly don't get it you frivolous oaf" and moved on. But that's so not my nature. So let's back up for a second. What exactly IS frivolity?

I'm pretty sure I know what it's NOT. I grew up in the heart of our nation's democratic birthright and all its incumbent responsibility -- that is the Pilgrim's pride, Quaker founding fathers' homeland, staunch Kennedy-loving civic-minded politically active Massachusetts. My Mom was a Town Meeting member, which is to say she embodied the spirit of Everyman's responsibility to participate in the democratic process. Which is to say that like it or not my little brother and I were marching around in sandwich boards every freezing November and chilly April election day since as long ago as we had legs. Trust me... I know "serious." I get "political." And despite the fact that, in the name of national security, the BushCo regime currently in charge of battling terrorism would like to strip us of every hard-won right we wrangled from our British forefathers, I still believe in this country and its democratic process. And I particpate fully.

And I love being frivolous.

friv•o•lous

Pronunciation: (friv'u-lus), —adj.
1. characterized by lack of seriousness or sense
2. self-indulgently carefree; unconcerned about or lacking any serious purpose
3. (of a person) given to trifling or undue levity
4. of little or no weight, worth, or importance; not worthy of serious notice

Number one -- Well, pardon me but unless you're dense I think what I write makes sense. And wait until you hear all the political commentary I'll be spouting cleverly disguised as fashion advice. Just because you care what you wear when you're saying something doesn't mean what you're saying isn't serious. Too many double negatives? Simple: You can look good and say smart stuff. Even if you live in LA.

Number two -- I'm glad, nay PROUD, to say that this blog IS unconcerned about having any serious purpose, though I think it is stumbling into having one anyway. Must absolutely everything in life have a "serious" purpose? One of my oldest friends is currently under consideration for the position of Secretary General at the UN. Now THERE is a guy who needs to be (and is) quite serious much of the time. Me -- if I can keep my dog and cats from killing each other and wrecking my house in the process, I consider my global peacekeeping mission accomplished. Even Z., though, will tell you that it is, above all else, humor and levity (do I hear frivolity?) that keep life rolling along tolerably.

Number three -- All levity is "due." Period.

Number four -- As Reese Witherspoon so pertly stated in "Legally Blonde"... I object. My lovely little blog here is certainly worthy of notice ... but please, do NOT take "serious" notice. Only take totally "frivolous" notice -- and have a blast, diva hordes.